我同意！

Max's msn personal msg写着：

“感性应重于理性，因太过理性缺少感性，
这种冷漠的人生使人失去前进的动力”

我非常同意，因为我越来越像后者

Posted on 30Jan2009 by 2327

今天是年初五，星期五。年初七就要回那地狱度过我那痛苦的日子。其实回家感觉的确很好，但看到家里的老人，一个太多节目，爱作诗说人，而另一个太孤独了，与世隔绝，体验不了她该拥有的好生活。妈，我真的很心疼。我也想你好好的度过下半生的，你就不要太执著，固执吧！否这你就不能体会世界那美丽的一面。我都为你们俩太过检点的难过，是的，我知钱难赚，但该花的就花，别委屈自己的乐趣。明明是有蛮不错的养老金，但为何就是过跟别人的父母过的不一样。为何？？我晓得还有很多的费用要花，请相信我，我一定会赚很多很多的金钱来补充你们往后生活的费用！我更要努力的帮姐姐找回她该有的平等的生活。一个家里，不可有太不平衡的生活素质。绝对！小的四个相信都会有不错的生活素质。但大的两个生活为何就不能拥有呢个平衡点？为什么？难道书念得不多就不能有好生活吗？看的听得都心疼，我不要求富贵的生活，但我祈求主，请你补充哥和姐的不足。我懂很多东西是要靠自己的努力争取，但我相信他们都努力过，并且很很很努力。请请请，别让他们太难过。我需要平衡点，我要看见！我不舍得他们过得很辛苦。。明明是一家人，为什么就是不一样。。。

姐！你要坚强，要争气，不要觉得自己没用。我不懂。。的确不懂，要感恩还是要怪上帝。他给了你拥有最美丽最善良的心，但你的生活从来都没好过。各种各样不好的遭遇都往你身上发生。从被侵犯，努力刻苦的工作，被人歧视，爱的人去世，忧郁症，失去好的身材，失去工作能力什么都来。。谁能担当得起？ 谁！名誉身段什么都毁了，连爸爸都常常碎碎年。对不起，没好好的陪伴你这难得而来的假期，陪着你一起做我能力以内的东西。我了解，人一旦失去了那股冲劲力，那一份意志力，生命就好像失去了那该有的意义。我不怪你的懒惰到让人气馁，只盼望你再找回那份动力，更盼望这一切只是试探，而以后会有更丰盛的生命。

爸！我知道我那天很任性，非常的情绪化，对不起破坏了那美好的气氛。我明明知道你要一家人一起去游行，享受。对不起，我没办法好好的管理自己的情绪。

寿，我跟你之间的感情的确淡了。这次回来并没有想一定要见到你，约了年初二见面的你整晚都没联络我，我并没有很难过。感触也不像当初的那么伤心而流泪。只是有少少的失望，我相信长期没有接触会使我跟容易得放开你。我慢慢式着放手，相信不久后就可以折抵的放开，把一切归为回忆。我昨晚梦见你，梦见我们的确在这假期没见面，而你在我在往机场的路途上才联络我要见面。遗憾的，时间不随人，飞机不等人。在梦里我还笑着骂你没良心，而且很真实。。。

Jennet，Shalley ，Candy，HuiZhen和SiewMeei。这次回来应该跟你们见个面的。原谅我的过错，我没有好好安排我的时间，把时间都留给了家里，周公，thesis和assignments。对不起！今天年初五了，已经是11点了。恐怕不能和 Jennet与Shalley见面了。对不起，尤其是Shalley，我连电话也错过了。我懂你有很多东西要跟我聊，你也有很多的心事，我都晓得。或许你会说有心不怕迟。但我连心都没了，冲劲力也没了。而Jennet， 我相信你也发现我们之间的友情的变质吧！你说我无心也好，在这儿的我深深感到抱歉！不懂是我看得太多，体会得太深太苦导致这巨大的改变还是其它的原因。。。遗憾的，当年的热度已不再。

主，我有太多的对不起要说了。我知道也反省过，但我还是从复着。对不起！
一年比一年的华人新年使我感觉不了回家的快乐温度，它的温度好像只保留在20-40之间。
是心冷了还是什么？谁可以答复我？

Future Plan

I guess i will be working at KL after graduate. High probability~~ i love my hometown, but i prefer to have new life at KL. There is nothing makes me think it's worth to stay at KK except my family, few close friends and the life without stress.

So, i should start to prepare myself for interview sessions that will be organised by uni on March. Hope there will be a good pay and prospect future. otherwise life is meaningless for me~~~~~~~~

21Jan2009

姐说小猫不见两天了，也没回来了！伤心叻~~想回去前探望它的，再也没机会了！！呜呜
今天可真忙！真的要吐血了。。。一直是不同不同的discussions~~很累！但我喜欢，只要事情一切在我掌握当中并且有信心的，那我会很喜悦。再累也没关系，反而生活很充实。但可惜的，好景不长在。。咯

后天就要回家了。呜呜。新年衣一件都还没买，更不用说礼品啦！！

17JAN09

我痛恨别人需要我时对我很好，用后拍拍屁股就离开！真想curse你们,G&R.
我想回家了，都没心情要把手头上的东西弄好。sigh

又一场无规划的说

看见别人的blog，总觉得他们好好哦。 有好的生活，开心的，工作的，出去玩的。 我也要！但是自己的两头不到岸始终害了自己，没有让自己好好有规律的生活。

现在最痛苦的是，我竟然花了整个下午做着无头绪的tutorial。 才一题叻，够没有？ thesis一点也不想动。烦啊。。。。。。。。。。

话说回来：
这个学期是最后一个学期了，也是最难的！
没想到，四科四科都浆难！这UTAR，明知学生最后一个学期要联谊和为CGPA而加油的啦。。哪里知道这些死人assignments这么难，又麻烦！竟然还要做一份简约的research project！有些星期甚至要读6份上的articles，有些一份都超越二十或三十页数。shit lar！不想念了

还有，那天去了JPN做了IC说了骗话！！哈哈，不错吧。学了别让眼神出卖你这招终于派上场用了。Yahoo~~

绝对的！说说说，无规划的说！！ 发泄 （3）

11-12JAN2009
I realised i lost the purse in my own hostel not in the camp site. But i am sure i did bring it into the camp. So, i did blame myself for being so careless but not others.

As PeiLing promised in advance, i went to her house (at Klang) after the camp session. Her house is really nice, comfortable and definately is a good place to stay. I am happy to have a visit to her house. But, i did not own a special place for myself as i am just a guess to them. After her mother had trim my hair, we went to have our dinner at a Japanese restaurant. Wow!! fantastic! nice crusine with nice environment. We had our dinner and shared our opinion towards the camp.

We come out with a same conclusion, this camp definately has its pros and cons. But we appreciate their efforts and at least we did learnt a bit Bit lar....not that useless as i mention in earlier....We love the group switch session, it's a good experience i had in this camp. the 1st team i joined was a dull and keep lossing in every games. Well, i accepted the fact that we are the losser because we lost from our spirit. 1st, we lack a leader. 2nd,we lack of ppl that are passionate. 3rd, we contributed ideas, but there is no one willing or have guts to make final conclusion as what a leader shall do. LOL...........main reasons!! Our own spirit come out only after we shifted to a group that has passionate kind of persons and leader. I enjoyed the games with them. But at the end of the day, we got to shift back to our original group which at 1st i was unwilling to let go. But after back to the group, we realised that each other are spreading their spirit within the group. The group was full of energy and passion. Wow..I really like the result behind this arrangement. Thanks Mr Ng. Muaks~~~~~~


Sunday noon, peiling family and i went to a restaurant located within the Klang Jusco. 龙的传人！nice foods? ehm..i have no idea. But the environment within Klang Jusco is really diff as compared to those i had shopped. This branch is really nice with its special buidling structure and arrrangement. I like the feeling being a shopper in that building. In conclusion, shopping environment has significant impact over customer satisfaction. However, i didn manage to buy anything for myself as i lost my purse. I didnt have sufficient cash and any Atm cards with me. WUWU~~

CANT TAHAN!! to be cont when i free~~ frankly speaking, i know how poor is my language in this post. But, i am so natural in writing this~~ which i didnt amend much and upload it directly..............................wuwuawua!!

绝对的！说说说，无规划的说！！ 发泄 （2）

8-11JAN2009
LeadershipCamp organised by CDS。 ehm。。可以说，浪费了我的宝贵RM150。或许学的东西太general，也在之前的SoftSkill学过了，觉得没用！

启程前在UTAR有个meeting，破冰之类的节目。一眼看了就晓得，我的组没有出色的领导。我也不是个出色的领导，当然也不现丑。好才又 TseYing做Observer。一切由她开始引领。Before depart, one thing is that, the committee themselves also dunno whether they would supply the three days drinking water or not..damn...made me went back to home and took the bottel to filled up drinking water...and carried it alone to uni. by the time i reached uni, every1 had used that kind of eyesight to look at me. SHIT...i felt i myself like a stupid idiot....plz, committee... when i ask, u should give me the accurate and precise answer immediately. Never use ur own judgement which u are not very certain with that particular matter.
The moral of the story is, plz look for the right person for the matters addressed.

1st day, i was being locked in the toilet while i was bathing. SHIT............of coz i know this is not committees' problem. But is the camp site problem. So, i would just blamed myself for being so soiiiiiiiiii...Another thing, I lost my purse in this camp!! All the IC, Atms cards lost! Wuwu! Such a MEMORABLE camp in my life. I would never forget how this camp FRUSTRATED me! Not their fault again, is my fault. I never approach them to keep my important stuffs as they never offer this to all the participants.

Now, i regret...i SPEND MY TIME IN THIS USELESS(for me) CAMP. I LOST MY PURSE. I ALSO LOST MY COMMITMENT/CONFIDENCE TOWARDS THEM. I LOST MY RM150. LOL

Everything has its pros and cons. Same goes to this activity. One thing i really appreciate is that they able to raise/build up the team spirit through the teambuilding over those activities. Good，i really saw many participants show and truly enjoy the moment they work together. Perhaps, i locked myself! i dun really enjoy that moment in the camp. I am unmotivated!!

camp的缺点：
1.没有effective time management
2.没有好的security
3.没有心的体验（我都玩过，甚至更好玩）
4.games很沉闷，旧
5. No proper announcement, allocation, distribution....sucks
太多了，说不完。无论如何，都是他们的effort，心思，联合和用心的举办。人从mistake学起，加油吧。overall, i would rate them at 6 on a 10 point scale!!

As conclusion, I realised i lost the spirit to work in a team. I guess the problem is with me. Not the organising team... (I'm so so so frustrated and high tempere when i am writing this, Can u Imagine!!)--------------> Lost my purse=i got to replace all my cards and wallet!!!!! Hate It!!

绝对的 ！！说说说，无规划的说！！ 发泄 (1)

对！ 绝对是无规划的。太多天没把心事写下了！原因是没时间，也没力气，更没有心情~~话说。。。

6JAN2009
Thesis！Thesis！放假也把自己的时间表排得满满，很累！22Dec2008-5Jan2009的K- Worker training sessions终于完毕。果然，长期的接触必定留下美好的友情和难忘的回忆！当时的心情是想快快完毕手上的thesis 吧！烦

7JAN2009
见了supervisor，像屁这样！她不懂我们，我也不想理她，更何况是thesis~想把它烧掉！Thesis，你是我的噩梦更是我的负担！

和PeiLing去One-U， 跑了跑，始终没买下任何一样东西！而她，买了一个钱包给她心爱的老人。Tough 牌子的钱包RM266。。。。呜呜!

晚间，决定去老人做工的地方吃晚餐。我被店的室内设计而深深的吸引了！住宅西方式的餐厅！赞！食物？？ehm，或许我不太会享受吧！好不好吃我不会分。间 接，老人帮我算塔纙派！学业，两头不到岸，容易分心。 事业，以后将会遇见一位很Powerful的老板，但会给老板骂得很惨！呜呜。。厉害吧！三点接近四点才回家。都不知谈了什么淡这么久，真费神~~

EnRong & Cally

I feel so warm when receive EnRong and Cally message this evening. Such a warmest message i get from them. Especially the sentence mentioning that they never stop for keep me in prayer. wuwu~~just like wanna to cry. Really appreciate it~~!!

Hi..how are u? at here never fail to keep u in d prayer..
wish u all the best..God's be with u always..tale good k...:)

I know Cally at the 1st place where Sis.Yien was helping me to find a room in sg long a year ago. Subsequently i know that she is a Foochow and a christian too. Therefore, i had approached her to bring me to methodist church to have sunday service. Since that point of time, i was following them to church as they are willing come to my previous condo(Evergreen) to fetch me.

They both is a lovely couple where they always hang out together, go to church together (as what i can see). But one thing is, they are not living together even they are couple and staying within the same condo. See, what's a blessed couple where they always keep God's words in their heart and relationship. Here, i would like to THanks them again!! eventhough they will never read this post, but i wanted to keep my appreciation in words.



Lastly, praise to the Lord. Thanks dad for letting us to meet up and may God bless and be with them all the times^.^

Wonderful and Memorable day,5Jan2009

3 good news of the day 5Jan2009

1. Finally, i had finished my 10days k-worker (softskills program) officially. Feel so sad at the end of the program. I am going to miss those days in this tranining program....Thanks God for letting me to join this group. i felt so lucky that i had made such decision. haha!!~~

2. FInal exam result in terms of grade was released. I took two papers for last sem. And thanks God again given me intelligence and emotion stability while i was in the exam hall. I got As for both papers. Well, it's the 1st time and the last for me to get 4flat in uni.

3. THanks William for the lovely interior design magazine. I really love it~~

Overall, it was a wonderful and memorable day for me!!

该清醒！

1. 当我们不再关心团契生活，其他的一切也就同样走下坡。
2. 圣经说没有参与教会的基督徒，就好像没有身体的器官、没有羊群的羊、没有家的小孩，都是不正常的情形。圣经说：“你与其他信徒同属于神家的人。”
3. 单单参加崇拜众会或作个被动的旁观者，你绝对无法长大成熟。只有积极参加当地教会生活，灵命才会增长。圣经说：“教会中每一个人都各按其职、各尽所能，彼此相助，教会便在爱中建立起来，并且渐渐长大。”

标杆人生17-点醒了自己离开了教会好久了，没有参与教会/团契，更没有属灵的生活！对不起，我主我神

Thesis

Dunno whether am I a poor fellow or what!! so many tasks are waiting me to do! especially this thesis~!@%$#^& I am so frustrated!

I loss my life, I loss my smile, I loss my confident, I loss my power~~

DIssapointed with Public speaking on 3Jan,2009 (9/10 of K-workers)

Noob!!arg~~~I perform badly for my public speaking today. Like a stupid fellow on the stage dunno what's she is talking and where is the direction. Huh. i admit that i am really weak in presentation. that's the fact. I can accept ppl critisms and i am appreciate it. As they are the professional trainners in which their feedback are really beneficial and useful for me to improve myself. Just one thing is, i did practiced. But when come to the stage, i am totally blank especially when i know my slide had gone due to laptop technical problem...Sigh~~i am really dissapointed with my own performance.

1st wish of the year: practice and improve own english speaking skills